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I vowed as I left his place in the middle of the night that I would never put myself in that dangerous of a situation again.And even though I now make sure people know my identity before I’m alone with a potential partner, there are still some aspects of this interaction that seem to show up in my dating life no matter how many precautions I take.That didn’t stop the intense expression of confusion that spread across his face.“So you’re a man? “Do you know how lucky you are that I’m not, like, crazy?

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If you’re a post-operative transsexual female and prefer dating men? Thus, they’ll often - however blatant or subtle to prospective guys: fair warning.You no longer compete or operate in the traditional crowd of trans-women. You’re hurting yourself - since most of the guys that follow this clan are wired towards non-ops & pre-ops. Many post-op women find traditional dating sites problematic. Also, if you’re seeking a committed relationship, being a post-op trans adds another issue for him: any man who ends up with a Postie is forced to sort through whatafter discovering our past. He had just moved to Atlanta from Chicago and had this whole stereotypical macho thing about him. We’d just met, so I can only imagine the infinite possibilities swirling in his head.Despite one pervasive misconception that transgender people transition for the approval or acceptance of future sexual partners, when I transitioned there was nothing about the forthcoming experience that assured me I would be seen as desirable. But when you’re trans, it’s hard in a completely different way.

I didn’t know if I’d ever have the chance to be loved. It’s all too easy to internalize the assumptions that we are rudimentary facsimiles of the people we actually want to be, or that we take on a lifestyle that’s all about mutilating our “God-given, natural” bodies.

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In both profiles he makes it clear that he is “a trans guy” and that people should “only message me if you’re cool with that.” Part of the need for this complicated negotiation is that OKCupid doesn’t allow users to identify as “transgender”—just “male” or “female.” The site has been in the news this week after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site.

While some have criticized OKCupid for showing people false or manipulated content as an experiment, the site's failure to accommodate transgender users may be a larger and more long-standing ethical dilemma.

He dates men and women, both transgender and cisgender (a term for people who aren't trans).