American men will rush to get you in bed as quick as possible, while European men don’t appear to have the same rush (or desperation). European men don’t ‘date’ – in the formal way that Americans are used to.
The types of dates seen in movies – the formal ask, the fancy dinner and the entire dance that ensues simply doesn’t exist in the European mindset, in fact, the word “dating” isn’t even a part of their lexicon. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”.
Slumber parties are preferred by the young living in Italy, as well as Switzerland.
Dating in itself is a very personal and sophisticated matter. According to Lynne P., an American living in Germany, ” …if there’s any genuine connection between two people, it’ll survive whatever differences may arise in the early stages of dating, and if those differences seem too overwhelming and/or the relationship doesn’t survive for other reasons, trying to make too many adaptations in the early stages is NOT going to help!Sure, they will go out for dinner and do fun activities, but it’s not packaged up in a formal and contrived manner. It’s more organic and instead of defining the relationship in order to know how to act, they let the relationship unfold and the label of boyfriend/girlfriend just naturally develops in the process. European men are comfortable with women, which leads to respect for women.Perhaps this has to do with their upbringing, where it’s very normal for boys and girls to play and intermingle together.If you just met at a party, well, you kiss, and things evolve naturally.
When they spend time alone together, the girl and the boy don’t go out for dinner, they just go for a walk or chill at home, which is really different from the formal dating process I see in American movies. We don’t ask people out, especially if we don’t know them well.
Being an American, she has unique experience of successful dating and communicating with a German.
It’s been a great night of drinks, dinner, and conversation, but the evening is coming to a close as the bill is finally brought to the table.
I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.
However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).
I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.