According to the eighteenth edition of Emily Post’s the rule is “for a first date at least, the person who asks should pay unless both parties agree in advance to share expenses.” But in the age of Tinder, who can be considered the initiator? Looking for some clarification, I posed the question to the staff over coffee, hoping my fellow editors could share their own thoughts on paying for dinner on a date.Due to the candidness of their answers, their names have been kept confidential for fear of freaking out future first dates.
Hoping for some moral support, I called my best friend.
He knew that I didn’t take other people’s opinions on my love life very seriously, but given my vulnerable state, he saw his chance and grabbed it to drive home one key point: “Whatever you do, do not—under any circumstance—go home with him.” This wasn’t because he thought I was going out was a serial killer, nor did he even know whether my date was the sleepover type.
Are you being objectified in terms of your success? I tend to date men more cultured and interesting than me.
They tend to be older, more successful and higher earners as well.
Unfortunately for my best friend, that’s pretty much exactly what happened between the dessert course and the arrival of the check.
Fortunately for me, the object of my unrestrained lust now shares an apartment and a dog with me. Should I always insist on principle that I contribute fairly?That's not because he's a man but because it's polite.The old-school dating etiquette that the man pays is disintegrating. I work, I ask men on dates and sometimes (OK, often) even have sex with them purely for my own satisfaction, without wanting a baby or a ring or even a three-course meal in return.Generations of women before me popped contraceptive pills, downed pints, threw themselves in front of racehorses - and left me to pick up the tab. There are times when it's wholly appropriate for the fella to cough up: if he initiated the evening, chose the venue and picked the wine, for example.Then, I’ll do the pretend reach.”Splitting the bill Yet there are instances where it’s preferred to split the bill.