“Don’t want to look too thirsty,” you tell yourself as you count down the minutes before it’s socially acceptable for you to respond to a text from a crush. Texting is one of the unavoidable essentials of modern dating.
He sent her pictures of the baseball game he attended. She told him about her car trouble and he responded ‘why didn’t you ask me to come help? And, most importantly, how you can take control of the situation – like a grownup! If you are like Sue, Lila or Melissa, here is what you need to know: Continuous texting, when void of in-person meeting, creates a false sense of connection.Do not assume that getting a bunch of texts from a guy means you are having a relationship. If a man is choosing to only text or primarily text, he’s not showing signs of wanting to get to know you in a meaningful way. Whether it’s because they found someone else, were just playing or because they got scared — that’s 100% immaterial. You feel like you are getting to know one another, but that is not what’s happening.Over the past few years it seems that almost every dating dilemma I hear from my coaching clients and girlfriends has something to do with the texting. He told her how busy he was and she felt flattered that he was keeping in touch.Texting and dating definitely isn’t just for 20 year olds anymore. “Melissa” stayed up until 3 AM texting with her dude. She wants to know how to stop obsessing over him being The One.Gone are the good old days of waiting by the phone, willing your significant other to call.
Nowadays, we spend our free time strategically calculating the exact length of time from when you open a text, to when you finally decide to reply. To be frank, I’m not a 100 per cent sure, but I hear it’s somewhere along the lines of a year, maybe a month, if you’re into them. Yeah, so are some of the texting “rules” listed below, but times are changing. It is the rule that you aren’t ever supposed to text someone unless they text you back equally, which means there shouldn’t be a whole lot of blue, blue, blue, blue followed by a short blip of white. Back in the day, we didn’t even have cell phones, can you imagine? Landlines were about as good as it got and all the jargon like double text, ghosting, and breadcrumbing were just human behaviors that we didn’t feel the need to label or to discuss. Double texting is a concept in dating like any other.[Read: Texting etiquette – 20 unwritten rules of savvy flirting] Here are some rules for double texting. If you have a paragraph and their answer is one word, then you are coming on way too strong. Your rambling can be heard on the message of a keyboard, and you can be overdoing it.Keep it simple stupid, is your mantra until you get to a phase in your relationship where the games have ended, and you won their heart.I’ve seen countless women create complete fantasies and get drawn in — often before they even meet a man. With no tonality in messages, texting back and forth creates enormous opportunities to misread and misunderstand intent.