She found that the young children she studied worried about how their parent’s dating process was going to affect them.
That's generally healthy for the adults; it means they're moving on to the next phase of their lives. Marilyn daughters, Shana, and twins Alison and Rachel, were 4 and 19 when she and their father split up after almost 27 years.It was more than a year before she was ready to date.And that’s something the majority of fathers just don’t do, the study shows.Sometime after parents separate and often before they divorce, at least one begins to date.He found that divorced or not, there’s a tendency for mothers to be more involved with children, especially teens.
“Studies indicate that fathers are less involved…,” Dr. “We just don’t have a heavy investment in the kids.” “As kids grow, they tend to grow away — toward peers, school, and the world.And even though he moved just a few blocks away, it’s not easy to parent post-divorce. “Finding alone time with any one of them takes planning and effort,” Vendig says. Whatever the circumstances, the Penn State study was clear: fathers and teens have a special set of challenges after divorce. Dad is often the one who moves out, leaving the kids with the same schools, friends, and address. Also, Dad’s new place is often not as comfortable –“I have a small apartment,” Vendig says — and the kids aren’t likely to feel at home.But his time with the kids is cut down considerably. In order to maintain the closeness they had before the divorce, most fathers will have to increase their involvement with their kids.While there have been several studies on divorce, remarriage and step-parenting, very few exist for the courtship period parents go through before remarriage.Here are some guidelines to consider concerning post-divorced dating and your children: Adjusting to the idea of dating isn’t just for parents. Constance Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family and professor emeritus at University Southern California, recently completed a 20 year longitudinal study on children of divorce.In a post-divorce situation, teen-aged boys tend to start to think of themselves as the “man” in the house, and so any new man on the scene who is dating mom can be met with aggression, resentment and outright anger. Well, for one thing, it is probably wise to keep the dating outside of the home and not to expose the children to your dates right away, if ever, unless you are absolutely sure that this person is going to play a significant role in your post-divorce existence (aka marriage); it is probably best not to bring third parties home and expose your kids to your dates. Some teens are very accepting of their parents post-divorce dating life. But you still should proceed with caution as far as how quickly you introduce a new person to your children.